She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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