D3 body, D1 cock
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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