Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
