I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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