I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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