im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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