The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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