i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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