yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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