I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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