So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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