dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
