Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
