I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You can't special order awesome
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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