we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
