overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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