I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
