theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
