We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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