Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
