and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
