Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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