I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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