she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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