You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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