there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
