do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
