spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
