What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
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omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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