no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
