he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
