Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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