Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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