it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
