I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
