Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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