I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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