I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
