How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
