I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize