Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
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I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
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I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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