You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.