he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on