Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.