I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.