i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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