He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
