We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
