She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are your genitals available?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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