i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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