so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
is wine microwaveable?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
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