she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It's never too late to be topless.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
