Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
