We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
