how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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