My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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