Why are handjobs necessary in class?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
