$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
