I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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